Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
