I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
