Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
