my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Nicole vs. Life
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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