she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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