can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
