I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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