so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
