She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize