it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
