Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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