I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
