My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize