Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
