But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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