it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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