Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
