Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
