i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
