There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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