she looked like the bat from fern gully.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We were destined to go to rehab together
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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