I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
