Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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