Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
