No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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