you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I have feelings that need drinking.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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