420 ftw
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
