i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
