Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
