She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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