that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
