it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
