just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Two words: blizzard sex
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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