I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
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