Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
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