The best revenge is premature balding
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
