I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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