He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
