I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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