Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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