And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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