would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
do herpes really smell.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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