He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
