There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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