The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
