My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize