2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize