He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize