my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
