He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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