Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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