Sry I called you an 8
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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