NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Randomize
