I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
