Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
