I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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