Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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