i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize