It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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