ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize