if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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