the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize