And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
