A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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