I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Randomize