do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize