He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
