So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
