Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
