My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm at about main and main street
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
