I should be sponsored by Trojan
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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