Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
