And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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