I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize