great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
